Milton Glaser says everyone in our life is either toxic or nourishing:

Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible.

I mostly agree, but this is a dangerous test to apply to a marriage when you have multiple preschoolers in the house. Because being home is almost always draining for me and is even moreso for Gretchen, and that’s primarily when we see each other. So it might be easy to associate each other with being drained, unless we have nourishing time with each other away from the kids.

Which is exactly what we had yesterday. Our good friend Lindsey, an Elon student who both watches after the kids frequently (for very little pay) and hangs out with us some volunteered (!!) to watch the kids for a while yesterday afternoon so Gretchen and I could take a Sunday afternoon walk together. Alone. Alone together.

It was nourishing. We smiled, we laughed, we talked about the things we rarely get a chance to talk about. We walked about four miles in all, and we weren’t in a hurry about it. And it helped me remember how lucky I am, that God gave me the woman of my dreams as a life partner and soul companion.