What I learned about John Kerry from JibJab.com:

1. He won three Purple Hearts.
2. He’s not George W. Bush.
3. Uh, he won three Purple Hearts.

What I learned about John Kerry during his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention:

1. He won three Purple Hearts.
2. He’s not George W. Bush.
3. Uh, he won three Purple Hearts.

Bill Clinton spoke on Monday night at the convention and hit a solid double in the gap. Barack Obama spoke Tuesday night and hit a home run. John Edwards spoke Wednesday night and hit a grand slam over the Monster and into the parking garage across Landsdowne.

And last night John Kerry hit a ducksnort in the 5.5 hole between short and third and beat the throw at first by half a step to eek out a single. He was largely emotionless and seemed to be forcing himself to try to be just a little bit enthusiastic. And the content of his speech was terribly disappointing to me. I really hoped he would use this opportunity to tell us what he’s all about rather than more of the same about what he’s not.

Even the Washington Post thought he missed a golden opportunity (subscription required).

My favorite line of the night by far is when Kerry slipped up and said, “We will double the size of our Special Forces to conduct terrorist operations…er antiterrorist operations.” I haven’t heard anyone make any sort of big deal about that (NPR even replayed that portion of the speech this afternoon and didn’t comment on the gaffe). Do I think it’s a big deal? No. Does it sway my opinion of his fitness for office? No. But I think it’s funny, and I think it’s that kind of thing that, over time and accumulated with similar gaffes, gives Kerry the appearance of being aloof.

It’s funny how those things make Kerry seem aloof but make Bush seem like a dumb ass (to quote JibJab). If Kerry does it he seems aloof, but if Bush does it he seems dumb. That’s not liberal bias in the media, that’s just how most people perceive things. Is it because of Kerry’s pompous demeanor that we can’t interpret it to be dumbness on his part? Does Bush’s southern accent make us immediately leap to calling him dumb? It’s sad, but elections turn on things like that now. Notice how Kerry was very careful to speak for 45 minutes last night in his introduction to the country and hardly ever mention anything he ever did in his 20 years in the Senate. His record doesn’t matter. His policies don’t matter. Only his charisma and eloquence matter. Which is why, if Kerry loses this year, John Edwards will be President of the United States in 2008.

Editorializing about Kerry’s speech, the LA Times deadpanned, ” Over four days of the Democratic convention, we have come to suspect that John F. Kerry may have served in Vietnam.” Yeah, there was a vague sense of that.