I never cease to be amazed at how little I actually listen. I mean listening (really listening, not just paying ear service) in general, but especially listening to God. I’m especially reminded of my listening deficiency by those rare times when I do listen to God, and respond. The past weekend was one of those times. I was gone to the beach on a men’s retreat with some of the guys from Brookwood, and I decided to hole myself away in an unused corner of the abode with my Bible, notepad, and some ethereal gregorian chant music on the iPod (thanks to Margrave for the tunes). I was rewarded with an intense bout of prayer, meditation, and contemplation about and for Gretchen.

And when I took the time to listen, God spoke. He gave me a new level of love and compassion for Gretchen, a level I hadn’t experienced before because I hadn’t struggled to hear his voice. Jesus says, “Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I’ll come right in and sit down to supper with you….Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches” (Revelation 3). The knocking is a subtle knock, though, and I usually can’t hear it over the din of the TV. The Wind Words are whispers and are just white noise unless I strain to listen intently.

When I I listened on Saturday evening at the retreat, Gretchen was at home on the phone with a close friend, at the end of her rope after a long, hard day with 3 young children. She needed me to prop her up then, to intercede to Papa on her behalf. God whispered to me, and this time I listened and heard.

Now I need the discipline to listen more often.